Very few things are more ridiculous than seeing someone who doesn’t know their age. In many cases it’s women who simply refuse to let go of their long lost youth and still cling to the fading fabric of what used to be a vibrant and colourful garment. We have a term for those ladies, “Motha young gyal,’ which refers to a woman who is way past her prime but still primes herself in the accoutrements and garments of the young.
“My word, look at granny trying to look like teenager in her shorts.” Still, there are some older women who still look great, and dress fabulously.
They do not wear clothes that only a teenager should wear, but adorn themselves elegantly, fashionably and sartorially sophisticated.
On the flip side, there are some young women who dress as if they shop at the geriatric discount bargain basement store. They are barely in their twenties, but dress as if they are ancient dowagers, country school marms, church sisters.
That’s so infrequent though that I won’t even dwell on it. What’s even more egregious is when they are even younger and do not dress or act their age..
This is usually facilitated by mothers who attempt to make their daughters look more mature than they really are. They dress up the little three year old girl in clothes fit for someone much older, and apply make-up, jewellery and all sorts of fandangles.
Men do it too, but somehow if the man has a slim body he can pull it off and get away with it. A man of seventy can still cut a dash in sports shorts, tight polo shirt and track shoes. Of course of he’s paunchy or big and fat, he’ll look ridiculous.
Where he certainly doesn’t know his age is when he adorns himself with a much younger woman who is more than a generation removed from him. This is so obvious in its implementation that people can’t help but noticing. “My goodness, what is he doing with that child who could be his daughter?”
Some may reply. “To tell the truth, I really feel funny when we go out, as I know that there’s a huge age difference.” “She makes me feel young and alive.”
But as we all know, these age ridiculous relationships almost always end up badly, with the older person being the aggrieved party. Here’s a prime example of a friend of mine not knowing his age. As per usual, and fitting into the age old cliché, he was putting a young girl through university and even had her ensconced in an upscale apartment. One night he arrived there unannounced, only to find another man, who knew his age, in warm embrace with the young lady.
As he related his tale of woe to me, with a straight face I asked him, “I guess that encounter was certainly not suitable for your age?” He failed to see the humour of my jibe, but lamented and cursed how the girl was ungrateful and wicked.
People must remain in their own time zone. You cannot expect to be born in the 1960s and running up and down with a partner whose parents are your age. Mathematically, logically, emotionally, physically, it just does not compute.
And yet, so many men still insist on not knowing their age when it comes to squiring much younger women. As for the women who try to romance young boys who are the same age as their sons, forget about it.
So all you aged men, when it comes to young women who are not age suitable, heed the words of Shakespeare, “A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age.” What’s the point of dining on young fresh steak, if you have no teeth to chew it with?” Know your age.
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