I’d just moved into a beautiful, cozy home, a lovely two-bedroom with a massive backyard for the dog to waddle in the dirt, in Oildale — by far the shittiest part of Bakersfield, California.
Two members of the Black Panther Party are met by Police Lt. Ernest Holloway on the steps of the State Capitol in Sacramento, CA on May 2, 1967. Photo: Bettmann/Getty ImagesLet me say now: I was warned multiple times. Not by posters or signs, but word of mouth. (There’s a bit of an oral tradition in Oildale.) But this is 21st-century America, I thought, and this is California! It couldn’t be that bad. I soon learned that Bakersfield was a sundown town, a city that was rooted in racism.
I quickly acclimated to the town — surprisingly warm and welcoming, at least on the surface. We have our racist underbelly in Texas, but it’s mostly smothered into quiet pockets and unspoken in the stretch between Killeen and Austin. Any man in my position, especially coming from the military, would expect a similar welcome after moving to “progressive” California.
But it didn’t take long to notice some suspicious activity. It started with the whistling — my first introduction to “peckerwood” gang culture. The flavors on my streets were the Oildale Peckerwoods, the Southwest Peckerwoods, and the 88 WHITE POWER GANG. When I would take trips around the neighborhood, whether a quick stroll to the convenience store or a bike ride to the liquor store, I’d hear a whistle in the distance: the peckerwood call.
A few meth heads whistling aren’t going to strike too much fear in my soul. But the evening I had a group of men screaming, “Get the hell out, nigger!” in my front yard, a line was crossed. At the time, I was virtually defenseless. I couldn’t escape my own home, so I decided it was time to defend it.
Many people misunderstand the process of buying a weapon in the United States. First, you need to swing by a shop and present your ID, which will start an investigation. The National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS) checks if you have a criminal background. It can take one to three days to get that settled if you’re federally cleared. If you want a pistol, there’s a more prolonged wait to get one. So I decided on a shotgun.
It took about three days from purchase to get the gun in my hand. That was a stressful time for me — I had just been threatened, and during that period, it felt like anything could happen.
Weeks went by, and I also picked up a revolver. It cost 250 bucks for a little zebra-striped 22LR. I decided to place my trust, and life, in the deadly little toy.
When I picked up my shotgun, I felt simultaneously relieved and angry. I thought I had some vendetta against an invisible enemy, some strangers in my area who didn’t want me to exist. Weeks went by, and I also picked up a revolver. It cost 250 bucks for a little zebra-striped 22LR. I decided to place my trust, and life, in the deadly little toy.
I was sick and tired of the Oildale lifestyle after a few thefts and some overall discomfort with the area. I eventually moved to Ventura, a city defined by a nearby military base and a reputation as a retirement paradise. It would be a much safer environment than Oildale for a person of color; still, it took months before I felt safe enough to stroll around at night.
The entire experience pressed an unusual belief in my liberal mindset. I now believe guns are necessary tools for protection for a large population in the United States, where many women and people of color are specifically targeted. A pistol in your pocket gives you a shield from much of the civilian-on-civilian violence that may come your way for running in the wrong neighborhood.
Some argue that guns are necessary to keep you, your property, and your family safe. Of course, regulations to keep weapons out of the hands of abusers and those with mental health issues must happen. I believe that’s partially true, but many of us have forgotten the past.
There was a time when a significant movement was in place to put a pistol in the hands of a large proportion of Black America. After losing Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. to gun violence, a new movement in California was established to arm Black people and teach them their rights. A tried-and-true militia formed — this time from the streets of Oakland.
The group wanted to convey that Black men would not lay idle while we were being crushed. But rising up led to some predictable anti-entropy. California’s then-governor Ronald Reagan and Congress weren’t so happy with the Black Panther Party for Self-Defense littering the roads with patrols. What followed were the Mulford Act and a set of laws that restricted gun ownership — backed by Reagan and (ironically enough) the NRA. These laws allowed the government to establish a system to remove guns from Black neighborhoods.
The tension slowly shifted, and racial violence transformed into structural racism in our communities, government, and the economy. Nevertheless, in pockets of the United States, people were still violently targeted. The need to be armed was and still is here in this country. It doesn’t take much forethought to understand that if you are a woman, a person of color, or vulnerable in your environment, you may need self-defense.
Trayvon Martin and Emmet Till were guilty of nothing but being in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were preventable deaths. Ahmaud Arbery’s and George Floyd’s lights were snuffed out too soon. Would a gun in Arbery’s pocket have kept him alive? Maybe there’s a chance. He would have faced a tough case, but if he had survived, he could have had the opportunity to fight for his life.
Floyd didn’t have the chance, set against an untouchable enemy: the police. A Black man with a gun can’t cure systematic racism — he becomes a terrorist, a cop killer. And cop killers get a particular type of bull’s-eye from the public. Floyd never had a chance, pistol or not.
I support people of color who choose to arm themselves. We can’t predict every situation that comes our way, but it helps to have a little ammunition as insurance.
