Is it really best to confess? It is said that confession is good for the soul and it’s also said that confession is an act of honesty and courage.
Certain religions take confession so seriously that it’s actually a ritual that they go through regularly, as they sit in a darkened booth across from a priest and confess their sins.
Usually after the confession the person is told to recite Hail Mary numerous times depending on the severity of the sins and atone for his or her transgressions. Many people spend a lifetime doing this.
I guess it’s a sort of catharsis, an unburdening of your sins that makes you feel lighter afterwards. Some men confess to bartenders, while others seek out psychiatrists. Some women may confess to their friends, but that can be dangerous as people do tend to chat and carry your business all over town.
Anyway, all that advice about confessing being good for the soul was from long ago. That was then, but I really wonder how wise it is to confess your past to your current partner in these modern times.
If you saw the wife of your best friend sneaking around with another man, holding hands, kissing and snuggling, should you tell him what you saw, or carry it to your grave?
To compound matters, to add to your dilemma, should you tell your friend that his wife who you saw sneaking into a hotel room with that other guy, that many years ago you also dated her?
That can seriously impact the present and shatter the future. Should you let sleeping dogs lie?
Sometimes people do not take confessions very well and many even resent the confessor for unloading all that disturbing historical data on them. “If you were my true friend, you wouldn’t have told me all that hurtful information, especially after all these years.”
And yet, on the flip side, the person may say, “Why did you wait so long to tell me? Thank you anyway.” Shouldn’t there be a statute of limitations on confessions? There was this lady who confessed to her husband that she had an affair fifty years ago, a year after they got married. They man filed for divorce immediately.
There are women who choose not to confess their history of transgressions to their men, for they know from experience that a man’s fragile ego cannot handle certain types of confession.
How would you feel if after being married for sixteen years, your wife came to you and said, “Honey, I have a confession to make, before I met you, I dated your best man!”
Her conscience that bothered her for years, drove her to make that confession, “There, I said it, got a load off my chest, I feel better now.”
But what about the person hearing the confession? That burden that you unloaded has to go somewhere.
There are women who also confessed to having secret children prior to their marriage but gave them up before for adoption. After years of torment, she confessed to her husband with disastrous consequences. “Say what, you had a child for another man and never told me, how can I ever trust you again?”
On the other hand, there are men who sire children out of wedlock and never confess this fact. For the few who do confess, there are mixed results. Some wives have walked out upon hearing that confession while others forgave the man and accepted the reality of that child.
Many sayings about confessions were from a nobler time, where honour, civility, class and forgiveness were the order of the day. Nowadays in this unforgiving world, it may be quite risky to confess to your spouse.
Imagine your husband telling you, “Honey, I must confess I’ve been sleeping with your sister,” or your wife saying, “Babes, I was a part time escort while in university to pay my tuition.” Think before you confess.