So many women, girlfriends, wives, common law wives, are suffering from the effects of being battered, physically assaulted, whipped into submission, punched and kicked, by demons who purport to be husbands, lovers or boyfriends.
Many of those women suffer in silence, and in this scenario, silence is not golden. No one knows of their plight except them and their abusers. As a result, they suffer from Beaten Women Syndrome, and many manage to mask it successfully, suffering in silence, smiling at grief.
But if you’re astute or sensitive, you will see the symptoms or at least pick up on some of the indicators. If you aren’t, then you might judge those women harshly, or even berate them, for as far as you’re concerned, they’re just acting weird, strange, silly, even stupid. “ How is she acting so foolish, like she has no sense?”
There’s a syndrome for almost everything, although some are more easily detected than others. There’s the Stockholm Syndrome, where the kidnapped person actually falls in love with the kidnapper and identifies with him or her, as in the case of American heiress Patty Hearst who was kidnapped, fell in love with her captor and even carried out illegal acts with him and his group.
Then there’s the Beaten Women Syndrome, which is more subtle than the Stockholm Syndrome, although there may be a distinct similarity as the battered wife still ‘loves’ her husband and refuses to leave him, even defending his actions.
Of course there are telltale signs, such as bruises on the body of the woman, or a black eye now and then.
What are the symptoms? The women display a sort of childlike disposition, shy, withdrawn, introverted, low self esteem, and can’t look you in the eyes when they speak to you. It is similar behavior of some children who were always told to be seen and not heard, shy and withdrawn in the company of adults.
These women became even more so when their husbands approached, and they shrank even further into their shadow.
They assume the role of the victim, and in their mind, everything that happens to them is their fault, despite what cruel and heinous acts the man metes out. “It’s my fault why he beats me, it’s my actions that made him do it.”
Women who suffer from this syndrome are often afraid to seek help, for they fear that their abuser is all powerful and is above reproach. “They can’t touch him, and he’d take away the children if I reported him.”
Then there’s denial. The woman refuses to believe that she’s being battered, and accepts it as normal behavior. If you ever dare to bring this to her attention, she may verbally abuse you and tell you to leave her husband alone. “He’s a good man and I love him, yes, he’s a little rough, but that’s how he shows his love.”
The battered woman is often emotionally forgiving, and in spite of the numerous beatings that she may get from the man, she will always forgive him. As a result, those abusers exploit this forgiving nature, and will cry crocodile tears after each beating. “Honey, I’m so sorry, I will never hit you again, please forgive me.”
And she will too, until the next time, for abuse is always cyclical, occurring over and over again over a period of weeks, months, years, but it never goes away.”
Many refuse to leave, thinking that they cannot exist without their partner. But the signs are there, withdrawn, making excuses not to be with friends or family, showing an extreme change in personality, sometimes seeming to be too happy all the time as a cover up, always being tracked by their husbands especially on the cellphone, having a jealous partner who has a bad temper.
All these and more are the indications of women who suffer from Beaten Women Syndrome.
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