Adultery can destroy people’s lives, both in a physical and emotional way. Throw in the spiritual aspect and you can see how destructive adultery can be. One guy defined adultery as such: ‘A man commits adultery by taking from the married woman what her husband has claimed as his sole privilege.’
So, based on that definition, adultery is more about the infringement on another man’s property. I guess it’s about the same as driving a man’s car without his permission or wearing his shoes without asking him first.
Does a man just get up one morning and declare, “I am going to commit adultery today.” Or does a wife, married for years, simply wakes up one day and say, “Ah, I’m ready for adultery, bring it on.”
But are people born to commit adultery, was adultery thrust upon them, or were they driven to commit adultery. “I can’t help it, it’s in my genetic makeup. My father committed adultery, as did his father before him.” “I didn’t plan to, but the opportunity presented itself, so I took it.” “I didn’t want to, but you drove me to it.”
I knew this guy who was a man driven to commit adultery. He was married for years to a woman he didn’t really love, and from I knew him, he always had a mistress, another woman. As he broke off with one, he took up with another.
I had to ask him, “Why this adulterous lifestyle brother?” I needed to satisfy my curiosity. He told me that he got married because his wife got pregnant so ‘it was the honorable thing to do.’ Despite that, his wife turned out to be a witch out of hell and he literally dreaded going home to her in the evenings.
“That’s why I’m always on the road doing sales, working late, meeting clients, hanging out in the country for weekends. Anything but face her,“ he confessed. Basically, he was driven away from his home by a harridan wife, and sought solace anywhere else. So he was driven to commit adultery by a loveless marriage and a shrewish wife.
He is not alone. Many men would rather spend their hours on the road, hanging out in bars, even sleeping in cars, rather than go home to their wives. They are literally driven into the arms of other women.
Now I’m not justifying adultery or making excuses for these men, but some women really drive men to seek solace elsewhere. When a wife deprives a man and even tells him, “Sex is only for procreation, not pleasure,” what is he supposed to do?
And what about the women, what drives them to adultery? In many instances it’s as a result of abuse.
Many wives who I spoke to didn’t really set out to commit adultery, and were not driven by the lure of physicality or other trappings. In the cases of many, it was as a result of abuse. Some husbands abused them physically or emotionally, and they then seek solace and comfort in the arms of another man. They simply needed to escape from the abuse and find comfort outside.
“I just felt at peace with that other man, and naturally one thing led to another.”
Given a choice, many women wouldn’t go that route, but they were literally driven. Now you may say that people should exercise more self control, that they’re seeking an excuse for their infidelity, but they really are driven. People don’t usually leave good for bad. Okay, some people will stray no matter what, curiosity, revenge. Yes revenge. “I gave him a taste of his own medicine and slept with his friend.”
Usually a man or woman won’t be driven to adultery if things are fine at home. Still, some people will step out no matter what.