Terrified, excited, and free. Those were the words that Kiffy Greaves used to describe the experience of putting her life on paper and publishing her first memoir If Shame Came in Flavors. “One of the biggest lessons I have learned from this experience is that you cannot be brave without first deciding to be vulnerable,” said Ms. Greaves as she recounted her decision to talk about her experiences. Kiffy is indeed vulnerable and the reader can feel the rollercoaster of emotions as she vividly recounts the grief, anxiety and depression she faces as an unemployed, full-time student at the University of the West Indies when her name is repeatedly published in the local newspapers by the bank regarding a defaulted loan.
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In the book, Kiffy does not shy away from expressing her raw emotions and addressing topics like money, family and relationships. She weaves a narrative that highlights the impact of cultural shame on mental health and generational hurt, especially for Caribbean women. “More than anything I wanted to bring to the fore the issues of cultural shame and how it can affect a person’s perspective on their place in the world, their worthiness and their ability to seek help in their time of need,” she explained. “Let’s face it, how many times as a child did we hear the adults say “do that again and I will embarrass you in front of everybody” or overhear Aunty Jenny and Aunty Patsy gossiping about the cousin who had the child out of wedlock and is bringing shame and disgrace to the daily name.” “We have people who will literally die of shame rather than ask for help,” she added.
As for the unique name of the book, she explains that the title of each chapter is likened to match the taste of an actual fruit based on the feelings she was experiencing at that time. She uses local fruits like soursop, tonkabean and sapodilla and seamlessly tells a story that can easily rival any episode of your favorite daytime soap or a Danielle Steel novel. Kiffy's biggest hope is that people will not only identify with her story but will find the courage and be unashamed to speak the truth and extend grace to others without judgment.
