LONESOME DOVE: To be, or not to be, in Your Own Company

Author  TONY ROBINSON

Typically, man is gregarious, loves company, relishes being among others of his own ilk, enjoys the fellowship of others.

Webp.net resizeimage 68But there are others who relish solitude and actually resent when that state of aloneness is encroached upon.

 Why are they that way, what makes them withdraw into their own world and shun the fellowship of others?

Most people not only prefer, but have to exist in the company of others. They simply must have other people around them or they’ll go crazy. To them, being alone can be a curse, shame.

Being alone can be debilitating to the human psyche, and the most severe punishment that a prisoner can suffer is to be placed in solitary confinement. Extended periods of solitude have been known to drive people insane.

Even so, there are a few souls who relish being alone and are not phased by a solitary existence and actually prefer it to one where people are always present. There are individuals who get involved in relationships, even get married, not because they really want to, but because they’re afraid of being alone. The irony is, there are people who are in relationships, yet still end up feeling alone.

SHUTOUT

Some withdraw into their own little world, shutting out everyone else, while others are pushed into a box by their partner who has no time for them.

Then there are people who opt to be alone. They, of course, are often viewed by society, as being strange, weird, suspicious, as their actions seem to defy the norm.

“Something must be wrong with him, always alone by himself suh.”

Songs have been sung about being alone: “Alone again, naturally”, “I just don’t wanna be lonely”, “Scared to be lonely”, “Alone in the dark”, “Nobody wants to be alone”, “Hey there lonely girl” and countless others.

Being alone can be a curse for some people. There are women who prefer to remain in an abusive relationship rather than be alone.

“I know that he’s terrible, but I’d rather live with him in the mess than be alone.”

Some also say it’s better to be alone than be badly accompanied.

 But what about the people who love being alone, preferring their own company to that of others?  For those people, alone doesn’t mean being lonely. If you love yourself, love your own company, you won’t mind being alone sometimes.

SIGNS

So when someone begs you to leave them alone, allow them that privilege. If it becomes too often though, then that’s not a good sign as it means that they prefer their own company to yours.

There are people who love to go to the movies alone or dine alone. But those looking on simply cannot understand this and often view them with pity.

“Poor thing, she can’t find anybody to go with her?”

But being alone sometimes is good, as it gives you time to reflect, get your thoughts together, be far from the madding crowd. There are many people surrounded by crowds who are lonely; many wives, husbands, pop stars, wealthy leaders, who are lonely. Some reach out to other sources for companionship, alcohol, drugs, religion. Others buy pet dogs or cats.

Man was not meant to be alone, it’s been said in the Bible. So even if you enjoy your moments of solitude, don’t spend too much time alone, for sometimes too much thinking can prove to be detrimental to your mental health.

Too much solitude often brings paranoia, suspicion, depression and anger. Ask any prisoner who has been confined to solitary confinement.

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