I have seen people, women mostly, who never got over being left by their partners. Some never trusted another man, even if they got involved again, while others actually have full-blown hatred for men.
But at least some were left for conventional reasons, such as the person found somebody else; the man stopped loving her; she got tired of him or fled an abusive relationship. But when someone is left for more cruel reasons, then they can truly say it hurts more.
Leaving someone is all about timing. Nothing is wrong with leaving your spouse, as that happens all the time. If it didn’t, people wouldn’t meet other people and you wouldn’t meet the love of your life. But when that leaving comes at a bad time, it can be even more devastating.
“She picked the very worst time in my life to leave me, when I was down on me face.”
I recently saw this program where the question was asked, “Would you leave your spouse if he or she suddenly became incapacitated?” The answers were varied and also depended on the ages of the persons asked. Most older folks said they wouldn’t leave, sticking to their vows of “‘til death do us part”. But younger persons said they probably would leave.
The irony is, there are persons who meet and marry physically challenged people and have no problem with it.
But others want perfection and cannot live with anything or anyone who they perceive to be flawed.
I remember this lady who was on the brink of divorcing her husband, but he suffered a serious accident and lost a leg. Instead of going through with the divorce, she stayed with him for another year, nursing him until he recovered. It was only then that she left him.
I also know this lady whose husband suffers from Alzheimer’s. She still loves and cares for him, even though close friends and family encourage her to put him in a facility and move on.
Men leave women at bad times too, such as when they become pregnant.
“I never signed on for any baby business. I’m outta here.”
That happens a lot. Then there are instances of men flying the coop, packing their bags and going, all because the woman gained weight.
“I never married a fat woman. I married a slim woman. Bye.”
Some men can be so cruel. They even leave women who have gained weight after having a child - his child.
“I can’t see why you can’t lose the baby weight, it’s been four years now.”
Some guys have extraordinary timing, like leaving the woman at the altar. It happens so often that some women in the United States have actually formed a jilted brides club.
Women will pick weird times to leave their man too, especially when his fortune changes. “Til debt do us part,” is the vow that they swear by. I’ve lost count of women who left their men because they lost their jobs, money or fame.
“Listen, I married a bank manager, not a fishmonger, so see ya.”
There’s this video that I saw that showed a couple meeting for dinner, as they both had something to say to each other. The guy, being a gentleman, told her to go ahead and speak first.
Well, she certainly gave it to him, lambasting him about all his faults and how boring and terrible he was and that she wanted out of the relationship. He sat quietly and listened to her tirade. When she was finished she finally asked him, “So what was it you wanted to tell me?” “I won the lottery and wanted to share the good news with you,” he softly said, before he got up and left. “Bye.”
There have been instances of men leaving their wives for younger women, then becoming suddenly ill. What does the young woman do? Pushes him in his wheelchair back to his wife saying, “Here, take him back, I can’t manage this crosses.”
Sometimes the man simply got too old and she decides to call it quits.
“I just woke up one morning and asked myself, what am I doing with this old man?”
Clearly it’s not the leaving alone that hurts, but the timing of it. Would you leave your spouse if things suddenly took a turn for the worse, such as physical deformity or loss of fortune?
“In nature there’s no blemish but the mind; none shall be call’d deformed but the unkind.”
That’s from “Twelfth Night”. See ya.